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willdawg
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Below are the 5 most recent journal entries recorded in the "willdawg" journal:
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08:24 pm
[Link] | Hey everybody! I gotsa joke for ya's.
So, a mother walks onto a bus carying her child. The bus driver nods kindly to the woman, accepts her fee, and bluntly remarks "Good god! That is, without a doubt, the ugliest baby I've ever seen!!" Naturally, the woman is positively flabergasted by this remark. "Why, I never!" she remarks, in a snoody english accent. As she walks to the back of the bus, a young gentleman sitting beside her remarks on the situation. "You know, that was completely inappropriate" he says "As a taxpayer, and therefor the source of his income, I think you should be personally offended! In fact, I believe you should go on up there an give'em a piece of your mind." The woman, riled up by the gentlemans support, begins to stand. "Wo-ho there, missus, carefull!!" He warns, reachin out his arms "You'd better leave you're monkey here with me!"
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06:23 pm
[Link] |
supa dawg!
So I know its been awhile, and you've all probably gotten purdy boared of waitin by your computers...but believe you me, it was worth it!!! I have here the story of the most AMAZING DAWGY EVER!!! So there I was, bored out of my mind, doin nothin ins paticula. And my favorite little buddy Will, whom we all know and love, comes trottin in, giving me that dawgy look, you know, when they tilt their head all sideways and point their ears. So anyways, I say to willstah "Will!! How does the dog go?!?!" and, to my surprise, I find that despite his vast knowledge, he's failed to learn even the basics of the english language. Well, this was unacceptable, as on many occasions I've attempted to learn to speak dawg. Well anyways, he just turns his head a little more sideways. So, naturally, I repeat the question. And suddenly, this look of intense concentration crossed his face; his eyes got all squinty like, his ears flipped back tightly against his head, and his mouth started to spread, kinda like he was about to sneeze. "RRRRRUUFFF!!!" he says, "The Dawgy goes RUFF!!!!" So anywas, thats all folkies, but I'll keep you posted on his linguistics, even though they seem to have dissappeared for the time being.
Current Mood:  surprised
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03:10 pm
[Link] |
hehehe
Hey people!! Sorry its been so long...I'm sure you've all been waiting anctiously by your computers for an update on the Life Of Brian. Well, its been a good few months and I've finally come across something worth posting!! Good GAWD was it funny!!!!! I mean, you probably had to have been there, but the experience itself was piss your pants bust a lung fantastic, so I imagine that even the reading of such a flabergastingly hilarious event over the internet would elicit at least a giggle from even the most composed, inteligent, mature of readers (achoofatima)...personally, I haven't even started telling the story and I'm already giggling like a schoolgirl.
Well, I suppose before I continue I should introduce you all to the supporting cast; first there was Will, a slightly smaller, chubbier, surlier version of Ol' Yeller, after whom I am named, Joe, my younger brother, whose lanky build and awkward pre-teen personality in no way suggest a relationship to his manly, charming brother, and my beloved father, whose clumsy personality and hard to understand humor undoubtedly mirror my own. So anyhoo, there we all where, loading the trailer on our riggidy ol' riding lawnmower fulla junk from the garage with the idea of dumping it in with the junk in the garden house (a perfect example of my ol' daddies developing dementia, as theres really no difference between the garden house and the garage 'sept for maybe a couple hours of sweaty, nasty work) when my dad yells the words which will undoubtedly ring in Joe's traumatized mind for years to come: "Start'er up Joe!" Being unfamiliar with the complexities of a riding lawnmoer, he immediately follows 'starting 'er up' with a panicked scream and a backward role onto the grass. My good 'ol chubchub willbuhdawg proceeds to launch an attack on poor little Joe as he falls helplessly flailing to the grass, leaving the lawnmoer to role unguided towards the hillside. So naturally, bein a man of the esler clan, therefor apparently endowed with super-human strength, my good 'ol paw sticks his leg right out in front of the lawnmoers wheel, apparently planning on stopping three hundred pounds of steal traveling at at least 6 miles per hour with nothin but his old, scrawny leg. Well, long story short, within ten seconds, both my father and my little brother where left rollin' in pain on the ground, while the lawnmoer, deflected by my fathers wounded leg, ran into a nearby tree, while my favorite dawgy willbuh siezed the opportunity and attacked Joe, while I sat pissin my pants lauging. It was, undoubtedly, the greatist experience of my life.
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04:33 pm
[Link] | This sucks...nataliyas makin me write, so bear with me...WEEElll lemme see here...Nataliya hates my dawg!!!! thats right, the renowned willbuh dawg, who we've all come to know and love! she hates'em! I'm not sure if its his lovable chub, or maybe his fwuffy wittle tail or what, but she hates him. Its kinda like the classic evil stepmother story, where the father meets this woman who seduces him, and then he leaves his kids all cryin in the rain with their tails between their legs cause she's scared they're gonna bite'er or something...aawww shucks...well, you get the idea...anyways, I better move on to a lighter subject before I get all bleary eyed and such...
-If you clone yourself, and have sex with your clone, will you go blind? (seriously...I need an answer)
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10:13 pm
[Link] |
Buuuuhhh
well, I really don't know what to talk about, so I'm devoting this livejournal to my hatred towards the evil hoebag known as ms. knott. So for those of you unfortunates in her class, you probably vaguely remember the WL2 essay due two months ago...right? Well, ms. evil hoebag (official name change), decides to return this essay, into which I poured my flesh and blood!!!!!, two months later, on the final day of her class, claming that I need to redue it in a period of three days. Now, I'm confused...apparently, it takes a high school dumbass two weeks to right an essay, and a high school teacher two months to realize she cannot grade it...leaving me with three days to retype the same essay...goddamnit. Anyways, for those of you wondering about my name, I'm not trying to be black...I actually have a dawg named will. He's kinda fat, but he's cool. Anyways, thats about all I have to say.
Current Mood:  blah
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